spoiled brats vs. grateful and helpful

Something happened today to make this transition a lot easier for me.

I took my kids to their spanish class today, and afterwards I wanted to talk to one of my friends for a little bit. It makes me feel a lot better when I get to talk to someone about the things I'm going through, and she's pregnant and homeschooling and a good friend.

My boys, however, were being quite rude. They were whining and complaining the whole time. I told them, "let's make a deal. I know it's not fun to wait for me, but I would like to talk with my friend. How about I talk for 15 more minutes and then we will go." Nathan said, "No deal." and they incessantly whined and complained the whole time.

When we got in the car, I told them I was very disappointed in their behavior. I only talked for about 20 or 30 minutes with my friend. Then Nathan interjected, "To me it was 2 hours." I explained that the reason I am having a lot of anxiety and having to cut things out is because everything I do is for them. Piano lessons, homeschool, library storytime, spanish class, friday fun class, on and on and on --I do all for them. I asked when the last time I did something for myself. "We went to Home Depot last week." I replied, "During our vacation. And I took you to Jumping Jacks yesterday and you complained the whole time there, too."

My blood was starting to boil. I do everything for my kids, and they were completely ungrateful and unwilling to sacrifice 30 minutes for me. They whine and complain all the time. Are they, dare I say, turning into spoiled brats?? I WILL NOT let my kids be spoiled brats.

I told them that in our family we need to have give and take, that we take turns helping out each other. That it's not all about them. I don't blame them, kids are naturally self-centered, and I remember being the same way as a kid to my parents. It's my job, however, to teach them to think about others, especially in the family. I told the boys that since they weren't respectful of my time, that their video game privileges were lost. Nathan screamed and cried and told me I wasn't allowed to touch him for 18 days. To which I responded, that is not being respectful and now I will not take you to library time this afternoon. He cried some more.

When we got home I told them that they needed to help make lunch- tacos. Alex was a great helper, and Nathan, still crying (which I ignored), was supposed to grate the cheese. Nathan said I was being mean to him. I told him that I wasn't yelling, that I wasn't mad, that I loved him, but he had a consequence (and I do think that it's a logical consequence). I remained calm and happy and when Nathan realized that he wasn't getting his way he stopped crying and just did his job. I told them they're going to help out a lot more- helping with everything in fact, and I am going to point out everything (every little thing) that I do for them and tell them to say thank you and be grateful for it. I told them there is a difference between whining and comlaining and voicing their opinions (Thank you for taking us to Jumping Jacks. I'm bored now, can we go home? --and if the answer is no, they drop it instead of whining and complaining).

Instead of my kids being spoiled brats, I want to teach them to help out and be grateful. Wouldn't it be wonderful if they are at a friend's house for dinner and they offer to help make dinner? Or say thank you for this and that, and then get up to help put away the dinner? And won't it be wonderful when they are married, for them to show gratitude and offer to help instead of expecting things to be done for them?

Last soap box paragraph: I'm not helping them by doing stuff for them, even though as a mother I think we want to, and it's good to. However, when Alex helped make the tacos today, he was very proud of himself, and couldn't wait to tell Todd that he knew how to make tacos all by himself. If I had made the lunch for them, the kids wouldn't have had that sense of pride and start learning life skills.

school on friday

The boys start school on Friday. We met their teachers today and they seem nice. It was picture day today and we got their pictures done, which I'm happy about. Katherine even got her pcture taken. The boys are very excited about starting school. I didn't cry at the school, only when we got back to the car. I'm ok now though. We're going tonight to get them a first day of school outfit (I guess underwear can't be their school uniforms anymore:)) and some backpacks. Alex is looking forward to school lunches and Nathan is looking forward to being in a class with Rhoman and Winston. They really wanted to start school tomorrow but I wanted them to go to one more Spanish class and do one more day of school with me. I told Nathan kindergarten will be just playtime and they'll say, "I have 3 bears. If I hide 2, how many are not hiding?" Alex said, "and then you can say what 3 times 900 is." Nathan said, "I'll say it's 2,700!" I told Nathan's teacher I'll bring worksheets for him to do while they have math.

public school

Well, my children are going to brave the public school system. I'm going to sign them up tomorrow and they'll start on Friday. I've already had nightmares about them going to public school, but I'm having lots of anxiety because of crazy pregnancy hormones. There's only 3 months of school left and I only have 2 1/2 more months left of pregnancy. 3 months isn't a big commitment.

I was talking with someone about my anxiety and they were telling me how she got into a depression with her first pregnancy because of the hormones. She said, "we hear so much about the physical challenges of pregnancy, but no one prepares you for the mental."

Wish me luck--I'll need it more than them!!

let's start over

can i just go to bed and pretend this day didn't happen? i shouldn't complain, but i had a bad day! these pregnancy hormones are the worst! Can i just be put in a coma until may 12, please?

Being prepared

Todd and I have been looking into food storage and emergency preparedness lately. Todd gave a sunday school lesson on it, and we're starting a garden and I love the idea of growing my own food and storing it for our family (self-reliance). I went to a garden class today and they said one blackberry plant (triple crowned variety) can produce 30 lbs of blackberries! Berries can freeze for up to a year. I've been looking into the "square foot gardening" because we don't have a lot of space, and we can get a lot of vegetables in a small space. I'd LOVE to have a lot of land and be able to can and freeze everything we had on our land and be able to live off of that. Add chickens, maybe a cow, and solar panels on our house and we'd be set:). (By the way, I have looked into solar panels.)

And then there's been the earthquakes, tsunamis and snow storms. When the roads are closed in a snow or ice storm no one can come in to deliver the food to the stores- we've had first hand experience with that! (our drive from AR to UT). In Hawaii they have tsunami warnings right now, and everyone rushed to the store for the last can of spam and headed for the hills. It's nice to have a 72 hour kit to be able to throw in the car at the last minute and the supplies we needed if the stores run out or close. Food storage/ emergency preparedness has always been too overwhelming, too costly, etc. but having a family plan, 72 hour kits for everyone in the family, and water storage is easy and covers the essentials.

Today we bought a feezer for the garage to start a food storage little by little, when things go on sale and when we get our garden in. There's some initial costs with a garden, but all we'll add the following years is compost and seeds, and I figure we'll make up those costs in the first year in grocery savings.

Here are some good links I found for making family plan and 10 steps to being prepared:
link 1
link 2
link 3

controblution and manly men

*This week is our vacation week (except Todd:(). No school or anything. It's very nice.
*Nathan made up his own math formula. He calls it "the controblution". It's the number, plus itself, times 3. Todd told him that's the same thing as just times 4, but it doesn't sound as cool. So what is the controblution to 5?
*Nathan and Alex are into being "manly men". Nathan said that right now they are "junior manly men". Daddy is the "ultimate manly man." To be an ultimate manly man you have to have a fuzzy chin. To be an ultimate ultimate manly man you have to have a fuzzy chin and big muscly muscles, and not eat McDonalds or ice cream. Nathan said he'd like to march with 3 ultimate ultimate manly men (like they do in the army).

the boys AND Todd went skiing!

The boys AND Todd went skiing today! We forgot the camera (doh!). Todd has never been skiing even though he grew up here in Utah; today was his first day. He said he really liked it and he'll go with the boys again. The boys are getting really good!
Today was a beautiful gorgeous sunny day. The drive through the mountains to Park City was beautiful. It snowed over the weekend so there was snow all over (but it's mostly melted in Spanish Fork).

Right now I'm planning my garden and yard. We're going to probably try the square foot gardening plan.

sprinklers!!!!

Todd did our taxes last night (thanks Todd!). We have been planning since last summer doing sprinklers for our yard when we do our taxes. I pulled out the backyard plans, the ground is not frozen, and I am so excited I can barely breathe!!
plan for getting right now: sprinklers front and back yard, electrical wiring for outside lampposts etc. in back, dirt, compost and sod for the front!

the game we played last night

Last night at bedtime Nathan was snuggling with me in my bed. He started to tell me, "I'm scared of..." but then said, "nothing." He doesn't like to talk about feelings. I tried to get him to tell me what he was going to say but he wouldn't. So I said, "let's play a game. We'll take turns telling what we're scared of." Then Alex and Daddy came in and we all played the game. We went around the circle a few times, each saying things we're scared of. Mostly the boys are afraid of the dark.

Then Alex said, "now let's tell about our hopes and dreams." So we went around the circle a few times telling about our hopes and dreams. One of Alex's dreams is to have wings and talons to be able to fly and fight. One of Nathan's dreams is to do pottery with clay on a pottery wheel and make a bowl, and also to see what a chilidog tastes like.

It was a fun game.

SO sweet!

Last night I was reading to Katherine and she was sitting on my lap. She loves books right now. Nathan came and sat next to us. After reading the book about 5 times, I said, "Nathan, she wants you to read it to her now!" So he read her the book and at the end, she reached over and grabbed him around the neck and gave him a big hug! It was the sweetest thing ever! Nathan loved it so he wanted to keep reading books to her. So I got Katherine off my lap to get the camera and take a video:

(wouldn't load. I'll try again later:()

my big baby boys

(For Kerry)

Alex at 5 months old:

Nathan at 5 months old:

Nathan at 5 months old

i like/ i hate

The boys always want to write "I like"'s and "I hate"s in their journals. So I am going to do it, too.

I like flowers.
I like reading scriptures with my kids.
I like doing homeschool with my kids.
I like my new floor.
I like holidays.
I like gardening/yardwork.
I like Todd's days off of work.
I like checking my email.
I like dogs.

I hate mornings, and having to be somewhere anytime before noon.
I hate housework.
I hate housework.
I hate housework.
I really hate cleaning my house.

VERY embarrasing!

To the people eating breakfast at IHOP this morning:

I'm very sorry I ruined your breakfast by throwing up at my table, and then running to the bathroom and throwing up outside the bathroom (extra sorry to the table next to the bathroom), and the lady in the bathroom while I finished.
I'm very sorry to the IHOP workers who were very busy with a packed restaurant, all of whom seemed to be staring at me. I hope you didn't see the throw up on my leg or the wet spot on my pants.
And to the poor lady who had to clean it up: Lo siento mucho.

I assure you, this WILL BE MY LAST PREGNANCY!!!

second time ski lessons

After their lesson, we got hot chocolate and sat by the fire:

Katherine wanted to try on her brother's sunglasses:

Nathan before lessons:

Alex before lessons:

Alex is making a funny face:)

Val. boxes

Tonight the boys and I mod podged Val. boxes (not all the way dry).

boy date

On Saturday, I (Todd) took Alex and Nathan on a 'boy date'. That's what we call it when it's just the boys.

Alex wanted to go eat lunch at Tsing Tao, our favorite Chinese restaurant. (If you haven't eaten there, you're really missing out. It's in Payson - so it may seem a bit out of the way but you won't be disappointed). I think the main reason he wanted to go there was to try out his 'chopstick helper' - a little plastic holder that you put at the top of the chopsticks that acts like a sort of spring to make it easier to use. At any rate, the food was nummy!

Next, we went to Toys 'R Us, where the boys wanted to spend their money that they had been saving. Alex brought all of his money but Nathan only brought part of it - to ensure that he wouldn't spend it all. They both picked out a Lego set - Alex got a Star Wars ship and Nathan got an Atlantis robot shark.

Then, we went to the dinosaur museum. The boys wanted to go through the museum and see a movie in the 3D (like Imax) theatre. So, we went through the exibhit halls - rather quickly, though. I think the boys were excited to go look around at the gift shop. They did stop and play in the sand pit at the end - and even made a friend. They were telling him all about their video games and he was telling them about his. Then we went to the gift shop and the boys both used some of their leftover money to get a sucker - and Nathan got a crystal growing kit. To finish the day off, we saw a movie about dinosaurs in 3D.

Alex with his 3D glasses on, ready for the movie

Nathan with his glasses - and his sucker from the gift shop

Here are the boys - inspecting one of the 'hands on' exhibits

shaving sheep hair and royal treatment

Today Nathan said that he wanted to snuggle with me, so we went in my bed and "snuggled"; his body and mind go 100 mph, so most of the time he is doing somersaults and things on the bed. If I take a nap during the day, the boys get video game time, so Nathan told me he was going to scratch my hair to make me go to sleep. He was scratching my hair and said, "I am pretending I'm shaving sheep hair." Then he said, parting my hair, "Oh my gosh! I digged and found a pig's tail in here!" Then he said, "Now I'm going to dig in your brain... Here's the blood vessels! Now I'm to your chin. All done!... Now I'm digging through worms." He is so "creative" and crazy!

The boys like to give me "the royal treatment" at bedtime. They tell me to go take out my contacts and lay with them in their beds and they scratch my back and hair and massage my legs so that I will fall asleep in their bed (which I often do). They are such sweet boys!

blue face and cupcakes

Katherine is playing with her playdough. She doesn't even eat it!
Katherine is sick and I've been giving her popsicles-- can you tell? Her mouth is stained blue:

She looks so tiny sitting on this big couch. She was watching a signing time video we got at the library. She loves the videos and loves doing signs.

We made cupcakes and decorated them:

Today in math we were learning about fractions and I was using a pizza analogy. The boys decided they needed some pizza so they got their allowance money and I took them to Little Caesars. They walked in by themselves and put their money on the counter and got their pizza. They shared with me.

hope in parenting

We're reading in Alma 37 still (we only read a few verses each day and talk about it) where Alma is talking to his son Heleman. We're reading the part where he is talking about how important the golden plates and brass plates (the scriptures) are, and that he is handing these important plates to his son and gives him instructions. With the boys, we talked about how Heleman must have felt getting these important things from his father. I tried to think of something that is like that in my life, and I think that is like being a parent. Heavenly Father gave me His children, that are so important, to take care of. Alma told Heleman that if he kept the commandments and asked God about how he should take care of them, then the power of God would preserve the plates. Perhaps if I keep the commandments and ask God how to take care of my children, then I will know how to best take care of my children. They will have their agency to choose, but I will know I did everything I was supposed to.

Todd and I have been talking about how to teach our kids to stay away from pornography and how to teach our kids about sex. We want them to know that sex is not a bad thing, but that there are rules. It seems so complicated to me and pornography is so prevelant (and stuff like it) that it gives me lots of anxiety! This scripture gives me hope.

pic of our glorious new floor

parent child talks

Today we were reading Alma 37 where Alma is speaking to his son Heleman. In the scriptures a lot it has fathers having talks with their sons, and those scriptures are some of the best. Father son and parent child talks are important. If you could write a last letter to your child, what would you say?

Tooth fairy and "bummy"

The tooth fairy is coming tonight!

We went to the mall yesterday and katherine remembered where Build-a-Bear was and ran right into the store before anyone could catch her. We found her on her tip toes, her nose and fingers barely hanging over the edge where the stuffed animal bins were. Allison gave me a coupon for a free one, so we decided to let her have it. I grabbed the bunny and gave it to her and she ran to the front of the line and handed it to the worker who stuffs them. She was not happy when we had to tell her we had to wait in line. Luckily, it wasn't very long. She calls it her "bummy" and hasn't let go of it since she got it.

Katherine in her new spring dress and her bummy:

Thanks, Auntie Allison!

stuff

Today we went ice skating again with the homeschooling group. The moms and little kids were free, so I decided to take Katherine around the rink and see how she liked it. She wears size 4 shoe, and the smallest ice skates they had were 6, but they were SO tiny! I held her up and let her legs dangle on the ice and she kicked her little legs as we went around. She was so cute! Today all day she's been wearing her costume necklaces she got for Christmas. She loves them. Here's a picture of her with her necklaces and ice skates, but she was so much cuter in person (if you could imagine that!) because she was so tiny and had these tiny little skates on!

My kids are so great. I'm so lucky to be their mother. Kids don't care if your hair is done, if your make up is on, if you're a dufus or whatever. My kids love me because I'm their mother; and it's wonderful to have their unconditional love (at least until they become teenagers). After we went ice skating with the homeschool group, I took the kids out to lunch. It was so fun-- I really enjoyed being with them and talking with them. Katherine is cuter than anything, and she smiles at everyone and they say "what a doll!" and she is so fun; Nathan keeps me laughing; and Alex is fun to talk with--he's getting so grown up and he is such a sweet kid. I really had a fun time with them and I'm really glad I get to homeschool them so that I can be with them all day long and enjoy their company.

Last night just Katherine and I went on a "date" to Gymboree to use my Christmas gift card (thanks Todd:)) at the mall. I let Katherine run around and let her choose (mostly) where we'd go. She liked to run around the fountain and over the bridge and she was so cute! My date smelled poopy, though.

We've been getting educational videos from the library (and my kids love them, they are such smarties and so easy to teach!) and we'll watch them in the car when we go places. For Martin Luther King Jr. day we rented a video about him. What a great man. It's so sad how the African Americans were treated. Today I think one of America's inequalities is the health care system. I hope someday my children will teach their children about how things were changed so that everyone has equal access to healthcare. Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. day!

this year's easter dress nominees

It's 2:40am and I am up looking at Easter dresses for Katherine!! What am I thinking?? Easter isn't until April! Which one do you like best?

I really like this one, but I always thought of Easter dresses as pastel colors and springy. What do you think?
This one I really love but I wish it were pink or purple;
I'd probably wash in a light pink or purple dye:

This one is hard to see. See it bigger here:

Remember this one from last year's nominations?

I really like this one, but you can barely see it. See it bigger here:

Nathan's morning math problem

Nathan was giving himself math problems this morning during breakfast. One problem was 150,000 times 60. He did it in his head, and he said the answer was 9 million. I had to do it on the calculator, and yep, he was right.

Tonight at dinner he was explaining how he figured it out. He had his dinner all over his face, and saying "w" for "r's" and "l's", he said, "Let's do it like this. You know 100,000 times 60 is 6 million, right Mommy? and half of that is 3 million, and 6 plus 3 is 9, so 9 million."

He asked me today if I would buy him a house when he grew up. I said he had to get a job and buy his own house. He said that he wanted to be a rock star when he grows up.